When we look to our own strength to heal or conceal trauma-based pain, we miss the true nature of God. It seems impossible to pull our heads and our hearts into agreement with His spiritual truths found in the Bible. In Hebrews 13:5, God declares “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” However, if you were helpless and alone when experiencing abuse as a child, feeling “alone” became your reality and God appeared to be a liar.
In self-centered attempts to resolve the conflict between lie-based beliefs and God’s truths in scripture, we resort to asking the question “Why?” “Why did God put me in that family?” “Why did I get stuck with this spouse?” “Why did God allow me to experience such a dreadful childhood?” “Why did God leave me alone?” Deep down we believe the answer to our “why” question has something to do with our lack of intrinsic value and worth. Somehow we believe we deserved the pain, and that makes us angry; angry with God.
It has been my experience that God seldom answers the “why” questions, but He will gladly show you “where” He was in the midst of your painful experiences. His Truth about “where” He was during those hurting times will change the way you see things. He will show you how you were protected in that situation when you believed you were alone and going to die. He will explain that, from His perspective, the dehumanizing situation was redeemable. He is in the process of redeeming you right now, because He loves you. He will tell you how His presence exposed the darkness, and the darkness had to vanish. You simply did not know it at the time!
Blessings to you,